[Listen to the audio hear: Field Day 5-12]
Remember Field Day? For most of us, it was a hallowed year-end school tradition, right up there with ice cream socials, and signing yearbooks. The kids loved it, of course, and looked forward to it every year.
But, for a couple years, not at Burns Park, one of Ann Arbor’s oldest, most desirable and most educated neighborhoods – and occasionally, one of its kookiest. There is a reason many townies jokingly refer to it as “The Republic of Burns Park.”
The Burns Park PTO might be the most active one in the state. In the late nineties, some parents, led by a social work professor, decided the competitive spirit of Field Day was too much for the kids, and changed “Field Day” to “Friendship Day” – replacing foot races, long jumps and tug-of-wars with games that emphasized cooperation over competition.
Look, I get it. It’s a noble notion – but the kids hated it. During one event, a cross-section of students from all grades had to walk together, while standing on two long boards. The big kids kept yelling at the little ones to lift their left foot, then their right – but the first graders didn’t know which was which. They all fell over, and the first graders burst into tears.
I suspect that’s not exactly what the parents had in mind.
For the students bused in from the less affluent part of town, canceling Field Day was even worse. All year, they had to compete in class against some of the nation’s most privileged students, where success is publicized in every way imaginable. But on Field Day, many of these students were, for the first time all year, winning the medals.
Well, no more prizes for them, either.
I grant the parents had good intentions. But I’ll also take a wild guess that some of them wanted to spare their kids the specter of not being at the front of their class for the first time in their young lives. And I’ll also wager few parents objected when their kids got gold stars for reading, writing and arithmetic.
In trying to protect some students from finishing last, they not only denied the bused-in kids their day in the sun – literally, in this case — they denied their own kids the chance to learn some humility, to realize losing a foot-race is no big deal, and to discover the next morning that the sun still came up, right on time, and they were going to be just fine.
Instead, we confuse competing with bullying, which schools are rightly focused on eradicating. But competition, properly taught, teaches respect, fair play, and good sportsmanship – the exact opposite of bullying.
Friendship Day lasted only a couple years – the new P.E. teacher has brought a nice balance of cooperation and competition — but the effects still linger. A few Burns Park parents and teachers have told me too many kids don’t know how to accept losing, especially – surprise! — the boys. If they get knocked out playing four-square, they simply yell, “Do over!” and that’s exactly what they get.
As one of my friends said, “My kids need to learn how to lose. Without me there. Or any parent. And to get over it.”
If you can’t learn these important lessons on the playground, they won’t be any easier during auditions for the high school play or tryouts for the band.
We are raising a generation of domesticated kittens, then throwing them out into the Serengeti.
We might feel better about it – but in the long run, they won’t.
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With all due respect Mr. Bacon, you are making the case that students should have humility by not getting what they want. The students didn’t want field day to change and were upset because it did. Maybe they could learn humility by participating in these “Friendship games”.
GREAT stuff John. heard on WUOM and was all “YES” with a fist pump as was my 13 year old daughter.
cheers
Beer Wench
This brings back fond memories of Coach Irving Boim, from Angel/Burns park Elementary(s.
Great Article … that’s why I’m so pleased my grandson, now 15, plays ice hockey … you win some and you lose some but in the end those are valuable lessons !
Mr. Bacon,
This is Mr. Leonard the PE teacher at Burns Park, great article. Field day this year is Thursday June 7th all day, we have a field day station with your name on it that we’d love to have you run. It would be a great opportunity for you to reinforce these key points from the blog and yes there will be a winner and loser
Mr. Leonard,
Thanks for your generous offer — not to mention taking the column in the spirit intended. As the column indicates, everyone I talked to for that piece — including current teachers and parents – had nothing but the highest praise for your work at Burns Park, and great appreciation for the job you’re doing.
I would be only too happy to partake in your Field Day — even if it means losing to a ten-year old. (Again.) But alas, I’ll be in New York that week.
Please keep me in mind for next year. I would love a raincheck.
Keep up the good work, and again, thank you.
-John
What? That was uncalled-for.
I grew up in Ann Arbor, on the West side. Now I live in Burns Park and raised two boys who were in BP elementary when Field Day was cancelled. You’re right: Most of the kids hated it.
My evidence is only anecdotal, of course, but I’d take issue with some of your assertions.
They don’t give gold stars or any other recognition for academic classroom achievements.
I rarely miss an opportunity to brag on my kids, but I don’t think that’s because I live in Burns Park. I think it’s because I’m a parent.
You imply that unless kids learn about losing in school-sanctioned sports competition they won’t know how to deal with losing out on a theater or band audition. Simply not true.
I coached boys soccer teams when they were little. I was surprised that the league told us not to keep score, but that was district wide, not a special rule for the Burns Park team. The kids and the parents knew the score, of course. They talked about winning and losing just like they knew who the better players were. You can’t legislate human nature. They rolled their eyes at the policy, but they weren’t damaged by it.
As a baseball coach what I saw was that as the kids grew older the ones who wanted more competition switched from Rec & Ed to other organizations. The kids who didn’t like the sport dropped out. And the kids who remained didn’t constitute the numbers to field a team.
One of the things I saw in general was that kids are on a spectrum of wanting more or less competition in sports. They tended to manufacture about as much as they needed to consume in spite of parent or school policies. The day after the Friendship Games the sun did indeed come up as expected and the kids went back to their games.
I remember the bused-in kids as generally being about like the neighborhood kids–neither athletically gifted nor intellectually slow as a group. Where both the bused-in kids and the neighborhood kids missed out was that they didn’t play after school with their classmates, but that’s not unique to Burns Park.
I was actually one of the parent volunteers for the Crocodile Walk, with the boards and ropes. Very few kids liked it, but some got it and enjoyed it. Basically, it was probably more fun to watch than do. The tears you describe didn’t happen on my shift, but I wasn’t there all day.
Now these points are just drawn from my personal experience of having been there. I will, of course, defer to your reporting skills and resources. But as a fan of yours, I have to tell you that it feels like you phoned this one in. And I’m reacting to it because it also feels like a cheap shot at me and my boys.
I played sports as a kid and still do. And I’ve watched a cohort of boys go from kindergarten to college age. I think sports and competition are good things, but they are lousy predictors of the character of the young man.
So, to paraphrase your piece, keeping track of the lazy stereotypes you’re pandering to, is it this?
“You know how the boys from Burns Park are a bunch of whiners who can’t deal with disappointment? Here’s how the get that way…”
Or is it this:
“You know how black kids are slow in the classroom, but can whip white kids at sports? Here’s how they got mistreated at Burns Park…”
Or maybe:
“You know how educated people don’t get that sports is actually the simple answer to complicated questions? You’ll love this example…”
I hope you enjoyed your day off. Now get back to work at the higher level that I’ve come to expect.
And by the way, it’s PEOPLE’S Republic of Burns Park.
Fred,
Thank you for your letter.
First, an aside: I normally require full names for submissions. But since I let some anonymous responses slip in above, it obviously wouldn’t be fair to create a double standard.
Now, to your points. As a Burns Park resident and parent, you obviously have more experience with this subject than I do. You’re certainly entitled to your own opinions — but not, as the late Senator Moynihan would say, your own facts.
For this piece I conducted more interviews, wrote more emails and made more phone calls than I have for all but a few of these columns. In fact, this idea, and my main points, came to me from a highly regarded Michigan professor (who happens to be African-American, for what it’s worth). I then followed up with over a dozen emails and calls to current teachers who were there for the Friendship games, and three Burns Park parents. They all saw a draft of the piece, and — with a few suggestions — thought I had gotten it right.
You might also check out my previous columns, on tryouts, with an aside about anonymous emails. While you make some good counter arguments, your tone is unnecessary, and putting words in my mouth counterproductive to your ends. If you do, in fact, read these regularly (and thank you for the kind words thereof), you’d surely know I strongly disagree with every one of your fictional paraphrases.
That said, I’m glad your children had a great experience at Burns Park — like just about every Burns Park graduates I know.
Sincerely,
John U. Bacon
John,
I didn’t know about the full name protocol. Sorry.
I appreciate your thoughtful reply.
Sounds like I was wrong to accuse you of being lazy. I should have known better.
Although I’m not a devoted reader of this blog, I have read your excellent books and always enjoy hearing you on the radio (well, almost always). That was part of my reaction to your piece; I’ve come to consider you to be a very reasonable man, so this swipe at Burns Park school and neighborhood hurt a little more.
Thanks,
Fred Hall
Dear Mr. Hall,
No worries. Clearly, I’ve done a pretty poor job making the policy clear, as you see above. And kudos to you: When some readers are asked to sign their notes, they run for the hills. Always good to have the courage of your convictions.
Thanks to you, too, for your equally thoughtful reply, and I appreciate your kind words.
I have a great affection for Burns Park, which I consider a second neighborhood. Well, maybe a third, behind the one I grew up in, and Thurston, where we skated on the pond every weekend. I’ve spent a lot of time with my friends on Brooklyn, Morton and Sheridan, wrote my first story about it back in college, and know just what a great neighborhood it is — arguably Ann Arbor’s best.
You are right that I am singling out Burns Park for trends every school now deals with — I give speeches to corporations on how to deal with the recent wave of college graduates, which they often find mystifying — and in some ways unfairly. These commentaries run only about 600 words (that’s what they give me for Michigan Radio), so a certain shorthand is required.
Thanks for the exchange, Mr. Hall. Hope to hear from you down the road.
-John
John,
Great piece. It reminded me of an article Rick Reilly did for SI over 10 years ago and still resonates today:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/inside_game/magazine/life_of_reilly/news/2001/05/08/life_of_reilly/
Dodgeball is life – Let ’em play indeed!