Ten years ago, a friend of mine said, “Bacon, one day, you’re going to be a father. And it’s gonna kick you right where it hurts – and you’re gonna deserve it.”
I finally got married at 49, and last week, at 51, we had our first child – which my wife assures me is also our last.
His name is Theodore Richard Bacon, but his friends and associates all call him “Teddy.” He’s healthy, happy most of the time, and looks like a cross between me and Mr. Magoo – heavy on the Magoo.
Even when Christie was pregnant, the idea of being a parent was an abstract concept, until I was holding Teddy in my arms, mesmerized by his face. It’s only at that moment you realize your child is not just a miniature version of you or your wife, but someone completely new to the universe.
So now I’m thinking about how my parents raised us. They loved us, they cared for us, and they provided for us, and they did their best to instill character. But I’m also thinking about what they didn’t do: they didn’t interfere, and let us do our thing.
My sister swam, and my brother and I played hockey. They came to our games, but they never pushed us. That’s probably why sports became one of my great passions – and one of my best bridges to the rest of the world. Through sports, I met most of my friends, and connected with my father. As they said in the movie, City Slickers, when I was in high school, my dad and I couldn’t talk about much, but we could always talk about baseball.
In hindsight, I can see that sports were a means for him to teach me values. When dad praised a batter for a well-placed sacrifice bunt, or a football player for going hard every down, or a golfer for calling a penalty on himself, he was teaching me the fundamental values he admired most. Now I imagine doing the same for Teddy.
Of course, you can learn the same things in the band, the choir or the theater. We’ll support just about anything Teddy’s into, short of sitting at home in the dark playing video games.
But I can’t resist fantasizing about taking Teddy to his first tailgate, and his first Tigers game, and having our first game of catch. I haven’t bought him a mitt yet, but I’ve pulled out mine, and started to oil it.
Even that might be premature. Teddy’s already eight days old, but he still doesn’t seem to have any hobbies to speak of, he doesn’t get any of my jokes, and when he goes to the bathroom, he’s not even in the bathroom. The kid has actually managed to pee on his own face. I didn’t know that was possible.
But I still suspect he’ll be getting into everything soon enough. And that’s why I’m working out again — not to play hockey with the hotshots, or run my first marathon, but to make sure I can keep up with Teddy for as long as he needs me. The stakes couldn’t be smaller – or bigger.
Teddy’s excellent adventure is just getting started. And so is ours.
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Please join the conversation, but remember: I run only those letters from those who are not profane or insane, and who include their FULL name.
My latest book, “ENDZONE: The Rise, Fall and Return of Michigan Football,” debuted at #6 on the New York Times’ Bestseller List Sunday. THANK YOU!
Thanks also for packing Michigan’s Rackham Auditorium last Tuesday, and the events at M-Den, Grand Rapids and Flint.
This coming week: I’ll be in Lansing, Cleveland and Columbus.
You can find all my book tour events this fall at https://johnubacon.com/upcoming-events/ We are adding new events every day, and will make 50-plus stops coast to coast this fall. If you’d like your city to be one of them, the best bet is to talk with your local UM Alumni Club.
Radio stuff: On Friday mornings, these commentaries run at 8:50 on Michigan Radio (91.7 Ann Arbor/Detroit and Flint, and 104.1 Grand Rapids), and a few minutes later, I join Sam Webb and Ira Weintraub LIVE from 9:05 to 9:25 on WTKA.com, 1050 AM.
After 12 years, I’ve handed over my “Off the Field” slot on WTKA to my good friend Jamie Morris, who launched his new two-hour show, “A View From the Backfield,” last year. He’s returning this fall, and I’ll be joining him Sunday, August 30, to talk about my next book, “ENDZONE.”
This gives me the time I need to join Michigan Radio’s great Cynthia Canty on her afternoon Stateside show every Thursday for a few minutes. Check it out!
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Congratulations, John. You are in for a beautiful journey. We had our first, sweet Elise, at 40 and couldn’t be happier to be “older” parents. Your blog already shows how much wisdom you possess by having a few more years of life before being a dad. Enjoy and God Bless.
Time to really listen to the Jeff Foxworth stuff. “I never thought I’d be saying, “Don’t bite the dog””
Mazel Tov! Being an older first-time father/parent isn’t without challenges, but it also reaps sweeter more intense rewards. Enjoy this special time and here’s a hint: sleep whenever you can.
Go Blue and Go Teddy!
Congratulation, John U., and welcome to the wonderful world of parenting. It may be the most frustrating and satisfying thing you ever do!
Enjoy the amazing journey, John and Christie! And Teddy! My husband and I didn’t plan to have children but here we are, well into our fifties, just starting down that path: we have just become guardians of my 9 year old nephew after the deaths of his parents. We’re on a steep learning curve but “fortunate” that he can tell us when we fall short. (Mostly it’s when we try to limit his screen time.) We’re finding that endless love and hugs mitigates many a parental faux pas. 🙂
I love this! Heard it on NPR this morning. I just turned 50 and my first born son, Sebastien was born over a week later. I have thought about much of what you wrote and share many of the same feelings. It was a pleasure to read this and be assured that I didn’t do the wrong thing by having my son at this age. I relish the journey and the things we’ll experience together as a family. Thanks again, John.
While reading this blog it brought me back to my youth and not having a father and then the raising of my three boys. I wish you all the luck in the world on this adventure you and Teddy are undertaking. God Bless and again best of luck.
Don’t hurry John it will go fast than you can imagine. Put the glove back. maybe he will be a concert violinist. He will determine that. You have the tiller now just guide him through choppy waters. No matter what he does your his father. be there for him, when he needs you. He will let you know.
What a beautiful piece. So many “congratulations” to you and your wife!
John, Peter and I are so happy for you and Christie! Congratulations to you and your new family! That new little guy will change your lives as never before – enjoy every minute – it goes by way too quickly.
Maseltoff and lots of good wishes on your marriage (which I missed) and the birth of Teddy. As you say, we all have dreams for our children and as they grow, some come true and some don’t (we usually forget about those). As you experienced, Brianna fulfilled and exceeded all our dreams and you were (are) a huge part of that. Thanks to you and Teddy has a great Dad!
John/Christy,
Congratulations, for the two of you joining ‘the team’.
Do not worry too much. There will be lots of us there to give you advice and suggestions. We can even cover the sports where you might be weak. I will do the “four square” for you. Just call on us when you want or need us.
Your old (and getting older) teacher.
Read this and found myself almost crying as you spoke of your father because mine and I watched hundreds of games with each other before a heart attack took him seven years ago! If your work is any indication, you will be a phenomenal father and as someone who now works daily with a former student of yours, I will be rooting for you because the world needs more people such as yourself! #GoDads #GoBlue
Christy/John,
Congratulations–you have just joined ‘the team’! Remember, there are a whole bunch of us out here who will assist you and offer advice on just about everything. We can even cover the sports that you might be weak in. I will handle the ‘4-square’ when he gets to be about 2 years. Do not worry, we will be there for you. Not sure if I can offer any suggestions about ‘peeing in your own face’, but I can help on ‘peeing on your own pant legs’. From your old teacher!
i love this heartfelt post, John, and have gleaned some awesome parenting wisdom from you as we also try to get on this late-in-life parents thing. Thanks for sharing & looking forward to knowing Teddy. XO
Congratulations John. Fatherhood is great. It also sucks some days. But that is life right? Wouldn’t change it for the world.
Loved your new book. Sorry I will not be able to get it signed by you when you are in Minneapolis. I enjoyed your talk and our one on one time during your previous book tour here. I will always remember our talk in regards to the hiring of Dave Brandon. I thought it was brilliant. You thought a bit less of it. History again shows that you are a far better judge of talent and character then myself.
Enjoy your son. They grow so quickly (I know that everyone says that). Every moment is so cool. A happy, healthy and wonderful life to you, Teddy and Christie.
Go Blue!
Bill
Welcome to the ride, Bakes. As far as keeping up with TRB goes, well… you might want to start preparing for the disappointment on that score soon. The good news is how gratifying it is to be left in the dust.
Congrats John, I’m so happy for you!
John,
If you thinks it’s good now, wait until you have more, and then those sons and daughters present you with grand kids! You need to work out in anticipation of that as well! Jamie
PS Trust me, after raising 3 sons, it is also possible for them to target your face!
Congratulations! Blessings for Teddy and the Bacon parental units! Good luck on the getting fit!
Congrats John,
Welcome to the club; now all things will start to make sense. To quote Johnson & Johnson “Having a Baby Changes Everything”. Wishing you the best. (And I predict Teddy will be a Spartan – I want to see how you’ll handle that!!)
John,
Congratulations and welcome to the real world.
bomberjohn5
Love the story on Teffy, hope to read more as he progresses.
J2 a blast from our past. My dad told us that your dad, Dr. Bacon (to us) was the smartest man he had ever met. He told us he was so intelligent that he conducted RESEARCH at the University of Michigan, and nothing could top that. I still remember my Dad saying that (and he wasn’t a dull guy himself.) so the import is relevant.Here’s to your baby and hoping he has inherited the same smarts, but more importantly the same dignity, that your father genuinely conveyed. Love to you all.
John, I love it!! I think you are in for an awesome adventure. I could be wrong, but I believe you are on track to becoming author for children’s books as well. because of the blessing that has been given to you and Christie. What a story it is going to be, that is, if you decide to write Teddy’s story.
Congratulations my friend!!
Congrats to you three! What a journey! I’m 7 years in and I would give you a nickel to swap places and experience it again from the beginning! Remember Mardi Gras is family friendly!
Loved reading your blog about Teddy. You got this!
The days are long and the years are short. Sincerely embracing all of it requires a selflessness that doesn’t come naturally to most of us. Thanks for the reminders and reflections. When my days are long you are welcome to borrow a middle schooler in order to catch a glimpse of your future. Congratulations, John.
Congratulations, and God help you. I had my son at 45 and it took me nearly five years to recover. The first year was especially tough, but we didn’t have family in the area. That can make a big difference.
Congrats Bacon!!
So very excited for you and your wife- you will without a doubt be a great dad. Considering the fact that most (all?) of your former students & players still carry with us things that we learned from you- Teddy is in great hands.
Congrats again, and I’ll see you in DC on Oct 29th!
John,
Congratulations, and good luck keeping your blonde hair. I am 9 years younger, but my 11 year old twins have turned me fairly gray. Enjoy every day, your life and perspective will never be the same. Blessings!
Congratulations and I wish you and your wife joy. You will find that all those things you fondly remember (including those that tend to haunt you) are going to return in spades as your son gets older. I wish you many years of enjoyment and sharing.
P.S. My husband LOVES your book!