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The Winter Olympics: Crass, commercial, and occasionally classic

by | Feb 20, 2014 | Uncategorized | 8 comments

To listen to the audio version, click here: Olympics 2014

Why in the world are the Winter Olympics in Sochi, one of Russia’s warmest places?  Chalk it up to corruption – both the Russians’, which we’ve come to expect, and the International Olympic Committee’s – which… we’ve also come to expect.  The IOC hasn’t just shown a willingness to be bought, but an insistence.  If you don’t pay ‘em off, you ain’t getting the Olympics.

That’s how you get a Winter Olympic skating rink built in the shade of palm trees.  The warm weather is funny, unless you spent your entire life training for these Olympics, and there’s no snow.  Then it’s just heartbreaking.

Sochi will also be remembered for the bronze water you can’t drink, and the ritual police beatings of a punk music group called Pussy Riot – which is the kind of name you come up with when you want to call yourself something shocking, but you don’t know English very well.

But this is important, for two reasons.  First, it allows journalists to say Pussy Riot on the air.  I don’t think my boss will let me say it next week.  And second, it restores our sense of moral superiority.  This way, we can still hate the Russians — then beat them in hockey.

And that’s exactly what the Americans did, thanks to a guy named T.J. Oshie.  He’s from a Minnesota town about six miles from the Canadian border called Warroad.  It’s home to fewer than 2,000 people, but its hockey players have won silver medals in 1956 and 1972, and gold medals in 1960 and 1980.  Oshie did his part for his remarkable little town when he scored in the eighth-round of the overtime shoot-out, to beat the Russians, 3-2 – and force millions of Americans to look up T.J. Oshie, and find out where he plays.  People in St. Louis were surprised to discover that he lives there.

But it was not the Miracle on Ice – and it never will be again.  Unless, that is, Al Qaeda puts together the best team in the history of hockey, then gets beaten by a bunch of American college players.  Yes, young readers, that’s how it felt in 1980.

Today the hockey players are millionaires who devote exactly two weeks to the Olympics, in a glorified all-star weekend.  Sorry, that’s not the same.

The women, in contrast, are deeply invested.  The play together all year, and you see their passion every time the U.S. plays Canada.  For two countries that share the world’s longest undefended border, what little hate exists between them seems to be centralized in these two teams.  They go at it with everything they’ve got every time they meet, including Canada’s 3-2 come-from-behind victory for the gold medal Thursday.

Speaking of Canada: their Team House had a beer vending machine that dropped cold Molsons, but only if you scanned your Canadian passport.  So, my question: What exactly does it take to get a Canadian passport?

Their Olympic coverage is better than ours, too.  On NBC you see people talking.  Flip to CBC, and you see athletes competing.  Go back: People talking.  Back again: Athletes competing.  The Canucks just might be on to something here.

The U.S. networks – and it really doesn’t matter which one has the Games — happily interrupt the live action to give us pre-packaged personal stories, including The Worst Interview of the XXII Winter Olympiad.  Just seconds after U.S. skier Bode Miller finished another disappointing run, Kristen Cooper grilled him about his dead brother until he cried.  Nice work.

Some events seem less like sports than hobbies that nobody should be watching.  Yet, we do.  There’s no better example than curling – which is like bowling, but slower.  We don’t know any of the curlers.  They wear silly pants.  They push brooms.  We have no idea how the scoring works.  And yet, we cannot look away.  It is the lava lamp of Olympic sports.

So why are we Americans not dominating that sport?  Seems like it was made for us.  Even if we did win in it, we might not know, because NBC seems determined not to show any medal ceremonies – why, I have no idea.

Of course, there have been plenty of heroics, and much of it by athletes with Michigan ties – at least 18 of them, not even counting the Red Wings who play for other countries.  At one point, the state of Michigan could claim more medals than 89 countries.  And they say we’re dead?  Suck it, Ohio!

The Winter Olympics can be corrupt, crass and downright crazy.  But when the commercial chaos clears, we get to see these amazing athletes at the height of their games – and the spontaneous joy is something you can’t get anywhere else.

* * * * *

Please join the conversation, but remember: I run only those letters from those who are not profane or insane, and who include their FULL name. 

Radio stuff: On Friday mornings, these commentaries run at 8:50 on Michigan Radio (91.7 Ann Arbor/Detroit and Flint, and 104.1 Grand Rapids), and a few minutes later,  I join Sam Webb and Ira Weintraub LIVE from 9:05 to 9:25 on WTKA.com, 1050 AM.

On Sunday mornings, from the start of football season to the end of March Madness, I co-host “Off the Field” with the legendary Jamie Morris on WTKA from 10-11 a.m.  And yes, there will be a quiz, so “stop what you’re doing, and listen!”

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Hope to see you on the road!
-John
johnubacon.com

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8 Comments

  1. John W Minton Jr

    Well said and well done.

    bomberjohn5

    • pat greeley

      US/Canada women’s game some of best hockey I’ve ever seen. And when the woman scored the winning goal…no look at me histrionics, just a great big smile. Pure joy.

  2. Judy Chaffee

    “Lava lamp of olympic sport” – BRAVO John

  3. Bruce Shapiro

    Olympic coverage is suffering from the same malady as so many other areas. It seems those in control have decided there is more interest in the back story than the artistry that is the sport itself. Is it short attention spans? TMZ culture or just bad judgement? How many of us turn off the sound to watch many sports being broadcast.?

  4. Phil Hemenway

    CBC does a much better job of Olympic coverage, it’s seems that the American stations want to make athletes celebrities, Shawn White being an obvious example. Americans in minor sports like Biathlon and Curling get no coverage at all.

  5. Mark Donahue

    Thanks John. You captured why I watch-regardless of the seamy side of Olympic politics, pro athletes taking a two week tour to participate, etc., there is real joy in amateur competition and you can see and feel it if you’re lucky enough to watch the right moment. I especially liked the espre de corps of the participants, from different countries, in many of the new alpine sports. Happy to be there, happy to share in he joy of competition.

  6. Suzanne Holt

    Interesting and funny. I have many friends in Canada and always love the Canada VS US angle when it is all in good spirit like this. Thanks!

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